Saturday 17 May 2008

4x07 - The Unicorn and the Wasp

The peace and quiet of the garden of a manor house is disturbed by the sound of the TARDIS materializing. The Doctor steps out, followed by Donna. There's a loud buzz as they walk towards the house.

DOCTOR
Smell that air. Grass and lemonade ... and a little bit of mint. A hint of mint, must be the 1920s.

DONNA
You can tell what year it is just by smelling?

DOCTOR
Oh yeah!

DONNA
Or maybe that big vintage car coming up the drive gave it away.

A vintage car pulls up at the entrance to the manor. The butler, Greeves and a young footman, Davenport come out of the house.

GREEVES
The Professor's baggage, Richard, step lively!

Davenport goes for the baggage, while Professor Peach steps out of the car and walks to the entrance.

GREEVES
Good afternoon, Professor Peach.

PROFESSOR PEACH
Hello, Greeves old man.

A vicar rides up the drive on his bike.

PROFESSOR PEACH
Ah, Reverend.

REVEREND
Professor Peach! Beautiful day. (he gets off the bike) The lord's in his heaven, all's right with the world.

GREEVES
Revered Golightly. Lady Eddison requests you make yourselves comfortable in your rooms. Cocktails will be served on the lawn from half past four.

PROFESSOR PEACH
You go on up, I have to check something in the library.

REVEREND
Oh?

PROFESSOR PEACH
Alone.

REVEREND
This is supposed to be a party! All this work will be the death of you.

During this, the Doctor and Donna have been hiding in a bush, listening in on the conversation.

DONNA
Never mind Planet Zog, a party in the 1920s, that's more like it!

DOCTOR
Problem is, we haven't been invited. (he gets the psychic paper out, grinning) Oh I forgot, yes we have!

***
In the library, Professor Peach is examining a piece of paper closely with his spectacles on.

PROFESSOR PEACH
I was right! Kept secret all these years, it's unbelievable. But why didn't they ask ... Heavens!

He notices someone coming up to him, but then he relaxes.

PROFESSOR PEACH
Oh, it's you. I was just doing a little research. I say, what are you doing with that lead piping?

Buzzing, a giant wasp closes in on Professor Peach.

PROFESSOR PEACH
But that's impossible!

***
OPENING CREDITS

DAVID TENNANT
CATHERINE TATE

THE UNICORN AND THE WASP
by Gareth Roberts
***

The Doctor taps on the TARDIS doors impatiently.

DOCTOR
We'll be late for cocktails!

Donna steps out of the TARDIS wearing a 1920s style brown dress.

DONNA
What d'you think? Flapper or slapper?

The Doctor looks her up and down enquiringly, but then smiles as he speaks, linking arms with her.

DOCTOR
Flapper. You look lovely!

***
In the garden of the manor, a footman adjusts the music player. Classical music plays as Miss Chandrakala claps impatiently at the staff, noticing the Doctor and Donna heading for them.

MISS CHANDRAKALA
Look sharp, we have guests!

DOCTOR (waving)
Good afternoon!

Davenport walks over to serve them.

DAVENPORT
Drinks sir? Ma'am?

DONNA
Sidecar, please.

DOCTOR
And a lime and soda, thank you.

Davenport walks away while Greeves introduces Lady Eddison.

GREEVES
May I announce, Lady Clemency Eddison.

Lady Eddison walks over to greet the Doctor and Donna. The Doctor holds his hand out for a shake.

DOCTOR
Lady Eddison.

LADY EDDISON
Forgive me, but who exactly might you be... and what are you doing here?

DOCTOR
I'm the Doctor. And this is Miss Donna Noble... of the, Chiswick Nobles.

DONNA (putting on a posh accent)
Good afternoon, my lady. Topping day, what? Spiffing! Top hole!

DOCTOR (to Donna)
No no no no, no. Don't do that, don't.

He gets out the psychic paper and presents it to Lady Eddison.

DOCTOR
We were thrilled to receive your invitation, my lady. We met at the Ambassador's reception.

LADY EDDISON
Doctor, how could I forget you? But one must be sure with the Unicorn on the loose.

DOCTOR
A unicorn? Brilliant! Where?

LADY EDDISON
The Unicorn. The jewel thief. And nobody knows who he is. He's just struck again, snatched Lady Babbington's pearls right from under her nose.

DONNA (to the Doctor)
Funny place to wear pearls.

Greeves introduces two newcomers, and elderly man in wheelchair and a young man pushing him.

GREEVES
May I announce, the Colonel Hugh Curbishley, the Honourable Roger Curbishley.

LADY EDDISON
My husband. And my son.

COLONEL
Forgive me for not rising. Never been the same ever since that flu epidemic back in '18.

ROGER (to Donna)
My word, you are a super lady.

DONNA
Oh, I like the cut of your jib. Chin chin.

DOCTOR (shaking hands with Roger)
Hello, I'm the Doctor.

ROGER
How do you do?

DOCTOR
Very well.

Davenport offers Roger a drink.

DAVENPORT
Your usual, sir?

ROGER
Ah, thank you Davenport. Just how I like it.

DONNA (to the Doctor)
How come she's an Eddison but her husband and son are Curbishleys?

DOCTOR
The Eddison title descends through her. One day Roger will be a lord.

The butler introduces another woman walking into the garden.

GREEVES
Robina Redmond!

LADY EDDISON
She's the absolute hit of the social scene, a must. (she greets Robina as they shake hands) Miss Redmond!

ROBINA
Spiffing to meet you at last, my lady. What super fun!

The Reverend walks into the group Greeves introduces him.

GREEVES
Reverend Arnold Golightly.

LADY EDDISON (shaking hands)
Ah, Reverend. How are you? I heard about the church last Thursday night. Those ruffians breaking in.

They have walked together over to where Colonel is sitting on his wheelchair.

COLONEL
You apprehended them, I hear.

REVEREND
As the Christian Fathers taught me, we must forgive them their trespasses. Quite literally.

ROGER
Some of these young boys deserve a descent thrashing.

DAVENPORT (with a meaningful look)
Couldn't agree more, sir.

DONNA (to the Doctor)
Typical. All the decent men are on the other bus.

DOCTOR
Or Time Lords.

ROGER (to Lady Eddison)
Now, my lady, what about this special guest you promised us?

LADY EDDISON (pointing to Agatha Christie, who is entering the group)
Here she is, a lady who needs no introduction!

Everyone starts clapping.

AGATHA
No, no, please. Don’t. Thank you, Lady Eddison. Honestly, there’s no need.

She holds out her hand to the Doctor.

AGATHA
Agatha Christie.

DONNA
What about her?

AGATHA
That’s me.

DONNA
Nooo. (Agatha laughs) You’re kidding.

DOCTOR (shaking her hand)
Agatha Christie! I was just talking about you the other day. I said, “I bet she’s brilliant”. I’m the Doctor and this is Donna. Ohhh, I love your stuff. What a mind! You fool me every time. Well, almost every time. Well, once or twice. Well, once. But it was a good once!

AGATHA
You make a rather unusual couple.

DOCTOR
Oh, no no no no, we’re not married.

DONNA
We're not a couple.

AGATHA
Well obviously not. No wedding ring.

Donna looks at her fingers.

DOCTOR
Oh oh, you don’t miss a trick.

AGATHA
I'd stay that way if I were you. The thrill is in the chase, never in the capture.

Lady Eddison comes over.

LADY EDDISON
Mrs Christie, I’m so glad you could come. I’m one of your greatest followers. I’ve read all six of your books. Is, ah, Mr Christie not joining us?

AGATHA
Is he needed? Can’t a woman make her own way in the world?

COLONEL(laughing)
Don’t give my wife ideas.

ROGER
Now Mrs Christie, I have a question. Why a Belgian detective?

The Doctor goes and snatches the Colonel's newspaper.

DOCTOR
'Scuse me.

AGATHA
Belgians make such lovely buns.

Everyone laughs.

ROGER
I say, where on earth is Professor Peach? He’d love to meet Mrs Christie.

REVEREND
Said he was going to the library.

The Doctor beckons to Donna and she walks over.

LADY EDDISON
Miss Chandrakala, would you go and collect the professor?

MISS CHANDRAKALA
At once, milady.

DOCTOR
The date on this newspaper.

DONNA
What about it?

DOCTOR
It’s the day Agatha Christie disappeared.

***
Miss Chandrakala knocks on the library door.

MISS CHANDRAKALA
Professor Peach!

She opens the door.

MISS CHANDRAKALA
Professor?

Her mouth opens in horror.

***
DOCTOR
She’d just discovered her husband was having an affair.

DONNA
You'd never think to look at her. Smiling away.

DOCTOR
Well, she’s British and moneyed. That’s what they do. They carry on. Except for this one time. No one knows exactly what happened, she just vanished.

Newspapers spin to show headlines like 'Mystery Writer Disappears'. Then we see flashes of what the Doctor is talking about: a vintage car by a lake...

DOCTOR (VO)
Her car will be found tomorrow morning by the side of a lake. Ten days later, Agatha Christie turns up in a hotel in Harrogate.

...and Agatha standing in front of 'The Harrogate Hotel', looking confused.

DOCTOR
Said she'd lost her memory. She never spoke about the disappearance till the day she died, but whatever it was…

DONNA
It’s about to happen.

DOCTOR
Right here, right now.

Miss Chandrakala comes out of the house running.

MISS CHANDRAKALA
Professor! The library! Murder! Murder!

***
The Doctor, Donna and Agatha enter the library. The Doctor runs to the body, he bends down and takes his glasses out. Greeves arrives next.

GREEVES
Oh my goodness.

DOCTOR
Bashed on the head. Blunt instrument. Watch broke as he fell, (he checks the watch on Professor Peach’s hand) time of death was quarter past four.

He gets up and starts searching the papers on the desk.

DONNA
Bit of pipe. (she lifts up a pipe lying next to the body) Call me Hercule Poirot, but I reckon that’s blunt enough.

Agatha Christie picks something out of the grate.

DOCTOR
Nothing worth killing for in that lot, dry as dust.

DONNA
Hold on. The body in the library? I mean, Professor Peach, in the library, with the lead piping?

The voices of the other members of the party drift in to the room. They gather in to the room, look down in horror and disgust, and all talk simultaneously.

LADY EDDISON
Let me see.

COLONEL
Out of my way!

LADY EDDISON
Gerald!

REVEREND
Saints preserve us!

RUBINA
Oh how awful...

AGATHA
Someone should call the police.

DOCTOR
You don’t have to. (he flashes the psychic paper around) Chief Inspector Smith from Scotland Yard. Known as the Doctor. Miss Noble is the plucky young girl who helps me out.

LADY EDDISON
I say.

DOCTOR
Mrs Christie was right. Go into the sitting room. I will question each of you in turn.

AGATHA
Come along, do as the Doctor says. Leave the room undisturbed.

Everyone but the Doctor and Donna leave.

DONNA
"The plucky young girl who helps me out" ?

The Doctor gets down on the ground.

DOCTOR
No policewomen in 1926.

DONNA
I’ll pluck you in a minute. Why don’t we phone the real police?

DOCTOR
Well the last thing we want is PC Plod sticking his nose in.

He scrapes some slime off the floor with a stick.

DOCTOR
...especially now I’ve found this! Morphic residue.

DONNA
Morphic? Doesn’t sound very 1926.

DOCTOR
It’s left behind when certain species genetically re-encode.

DONNA
The murderer’s an alien.

DOCTOR
Which means, one of that lot is an alien in human form.

DONNA
Yeah, but think about it. There’s a murder, a mystery, and Agatha Christie.

DOCTOR
So? Happens to me all the time.

He smells the slime then puts in under Donna’s nose.

DONNA
No, but isn’t that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn’t walk around surrounded by murders. Not really. I mean that’s like meeting Charles Dickens, and he’s surrounded by ghosts. At Christmas.

DOCTOR
Well...

DONNA
Oh, come on! It’s not like we could drive across country and find Enid Blyton having tea with Noddy. Could we? Noddy’s not real. Is he? Tell me there’s no Noddy!

DOCTOR
There’s no Noddy.

DONNA
Next thing you know, you'll be telling me it's like Murder On The Orient Express, and they all did it!

While she speaks they exit the library and meet Agatha at the bottom of the staircase.

AGATHA
Murder on the Orient Express?

DONNA
Oh, yeah. One of your best!

DOCTOR
But not yet.

AGATHA
Marvellous idea though.

DONNA
Yeah. Tell you what, copyright Donna Noble, okay?

DOCTOR
Anyway! Agatha and I will question the suspects, Donna, you search the bedrooms. Look for clues. (whispering) Any more residue.

He gives her a magnifying glass.

DOCTOR
You'll need this.

DONNA
Is that for real?

DOCTOR
Go on. You're ever so plucky.

Not too pleased, Donna heads upstairs, while the Doctor beams at Agatha.

DOCTOR
Right then! Solving a murder mystery with Agatha Christie, brilliant!

AGATHA
How like a man to have fun, while there's disaster all around him.

DOCTOR
Sorry, yeah.

AGATHA
I'll work with you, gladly. But for the sake of justice. Not your own amusement.

DOCTOR
Yeah.

***
DOCTOR
Now then, Reverend. Where were you at a quarter past four?

REVEREND
Let me think. Oh yes, I remember.

Flashback scene begins: we see him hanging clothes in the wardrobe.

REVEREND (VO)
I was unpacking in my room.

DOCTOR (VO)
No alibi then.

AGATHA (VO)
You were alone?

The flashback ends.

REVEREND
With the Lord, one is never truly alone. Doctor?

***
DOCTOR
And where were you?

ROGER
Let me think... I was, um... Oh, yes, I was taking a constitutional, in the fields behind the house.

Flashback begins.

ROGER (VO)
Just taking a stroll, that's all.

DOCTOR (VO)
Alone?

ROGER (VO)
Oh, yes, all alone. Totally alone! Absolutely alone. Completely, all of the time.

In the flashback, we see him meeting Davenport and the pair of them walking off hand in hand.

ROGER (VO)
I wandered lonely as the proverbial cloud, there was no-one else with me, not at all.

Flashback ends.

ROGER
Not ever!

***
DOCTOR
And where were you?

ROBINA
At a quarter past four? Well, I went to the toilet when I arrived, and then um...

Flashback starts.

ROBINA (VO)
Oh, yes, I remember.

She is indeed in the bathroom, but we see her pulling out a small revolver from her handbag.

ROBINA (VO)
I was preparing myself, positively buzzing with excitement about the party... and the super fun of meeting Lady Eddy.

Flashback ends.

DOCTOR
We've only got your word for it.

ROBINA
That's your problem, not mine.

***
DOCTOR
And where were you, sir?

COLONEL
Quarter past four? Dear me, let me think... Ah, yes, I remember.

Flashback starts.

COLONEL (VO)
I was in my study, reading through some military memoirs. Fascinating stuff.

We see that he was actually watching some erotic pictures.

COLONEL (VO)
Took me back to my days in the army. Started reminiscing...

Flashback within the flashback: the Colonel remembers a revue with cancan dancers.

COLONEL (VO)
Mafeking, you know... Terrible war.

DOCTOR (VO)
Colonel, snap out of it!

The Colonel gets out of the revue flashback, but is still in the first one of watching pictures in his study.

COLONEL (VO)
I was in my study...

DOCTOR
No no no. Right out of it!

The flashback ends.

COLONEL
Oh, sorry. Got a bit carried away there.

***
DOCTOR
And where were you at a quarter past four, my lady?

LADY EDDISON
Now let me see...

Flashback begins.

LADY EDDISON (VO)
Yes, I remember. I was sitting in the Blue Room, taking my afternoon tea.

We see her drinking spirits from a bottle.

LADY EDDISON (VO)
It's a ritual of mine, I needed to gather strength for the duty of hostess. I then proceeded to the lawn where I met you, Doctor. And I said, "And who exactly might you be and what are you doing here?" And you said, "I am the Doctor and this is Miss Donna Noble."

DOCTOR (VO)
Yes, yes, you can stop now.

Flashback ends.

DOCTOR
I was there for that bit.

LADY EDDISON
Of course. (she burps) Excuse me.

***
All suspects questioned, the Doctor and Agatha are walking up and down the room, trying to solve the mystery.

AGATHA
No alibis for any of them. The secret adversary remains hidden. We must look for a motive, use "the little grey cells".

DOCTOR
Oh, yes, little grey cells, good old Poirot.

He sits down to the chair the suspects were using.

DOCTOR
Do you know, I've been to Belgium, yeah.

Flashback begins.

DOCTOR (VO)
I remember...

We see him in a forest, cutting way with a machete, armed with bow and arrows.

DOCTOR (VO)
I was deep in the Ardennes, trying to find Charlemagne. He'd been kidnapped by an insane computer.

AGATHA (VO)
Doctor!

Flashback ends.

DOCTOR
Sorry.

AGATHA
Charlemagne lived centuries ago!

DOCTOR
I've got a very good memory.

AGATHA
For such an experienced detective, you missed a big clue.

DOCTOR
What, that bit of paper you nicked out the fire?

AGATHA
You were looking the other way!

DOCTOR
Yeah, but I saw you reflected in the glass of the bookcase.

AGATHA
You crafty man.

They smile at each other.

AGATHA
This is all that was left.

The Doctor rushes to her and they try to decipher the writing.

DOCTOR
What's that first letter? N or M?

AGATHA
It's an M. The word is maiden.

DOCTOR
Maiden! What does that mean?

AGATHA
We're still no further forward. Our nemesis remains at large. Unless Miss Noble's found something.

***
Upstairs, Donna tries to open a door but it is locked. Greeves appears suddenly and she lets out a surprised little scream.

GREEVES
You won't find anything in there.

DONNA
How come it's locked?

GREEVES
Lady Eddison commands it to be so.

DONNA
And I command it to be otherwise. Scotland Yard, pip-pip.

Reluctant, he moves forward to unlock the door.

DONNA
Why's it locked in the first place?

GREEVES
Many years ago, when my father was butler to the family, Lady Eddison returned from India with malaria. She locked herself in this room for six months until she recovered. Since then, the room has remained undisturbed.

He opens the door and Donna steps in.

GREEVES
There's nothing in here.

DONNA
How long's it been empty?

GREEVES
Forty years.

DONNA
Why would she seal it off? All right, I need to investigate, you just... butle off.

She closes the door behind herself and starts to look around. She finds a big teddy bear on the bed, then hears a buzz.

DONNA
1926, they've still got bees. Oh, what a noise! All right, busy bee, I'll let you out. Hold on, I shall find you with my amazing powers of detection.

Lifting up the magnifying glass, she walks to the window. She pulls aside the heavy curtains hiding the view, and sees a giant wasp. She screams as the wasp breaks through the glass.

DONNA
That's impossible!

Threatened by the wasp, she backs to the window.

DONNA
Doctor!

The wasp is about to attack, but she holds out the magnifying glass and focuses the sunlight on it's body, stopping it for a moment.

DONNA
DOCTOR!

She runs out of the room and shuts the door. The wasp stings through the wood and she screams. The Doctor and Agatha arrive running.

DONNA
It's a giant wasp!

DOCTOR
What d'you mean, a giant wasp?

DONNA
I mean, a wasp that's giant!

AGATHA
It's only a silly little insect.

DONNA
When I say giant, I don't mean big, I mean flippin' enormous! Look at its sting!

They look down at the huge sting, stuck into the door.

DOCTOR
Let me see.

He gets into the room but it's empty.

DOCTOR
It's gone. Buzzed off.

Agatha bows to examine the sting.

AGATHA
But that's fascinating...

DOCTOR
D-D-D-Don't touch it! Don't touch it! Let me...

He collects some slime from the sting into a test tube.

DOCTOR
Giant wasp... Well, tons of amorphous insectivorous lifeforms, but none in this galactic vector.

AGATHA
I think I understood some of those words. Enough to know that you're completely potty.

DONNA
Lost its sting though, that makes it defenceless.

DOCTOR
Oh, creature this size, got to be able to grow a new one.

AGATHA
Can we return to sanity? There are no such things as giant wasps!

DOCTOR
Exactly. So, question is, what's it doing here?

***
The household staff discuss the events in the kitchen.

MRS HART
A murder? That’s put the cat among the pigeons and no mistake!

MISS CHANDRAKALA
It is not the stuff of gossip Mrs Hart, continue with your work.

DAVENPORT
But who’d want to do in the old professor? He was always asking questions about that book of his, what’s all that about?

MISS CHANDRAKALA
A dead man’s folly, nothing more. Though perhaps if he asked about... I must go and see milady.

She walks outside, a gargoyle falls off the roof and she screams as it heads towards her. The Doctor, Donna and Agatha hear the thud and run outside. They kneel beside Miss Chandrakala.

MISS CHANDRAKALA
The... poor... little... child...

She dies. There is a buzz, the Doctor looks up and sees the giant wasp.

DOCTOR
There!

The wasp flies off and they run into the house.

DOCTOR
Come on!

DONNA
Hey, this makes a change, there’s a monster, and we’re chasing it.

AGATHA
Can’t be a monster, it’s a trick, they do it with mirrors!

The Doctor, Donna and Agatha run up the stairs and find the wasp.

AGATHA
By all that’s holy!

DOCTOR
Oh, but you are wonderful!

The wasp flies at them.

DOCTOR
Now, just stop, stop there!

DONNA
Oi, fly boy!

She points the magnifying glass at the wasp and it flies off.

DOCTOR
Don’t let it get away! Quick! Before it reverts back to human form.

They run down the stairs and stop at the end of an empty corridor.

DOCTOR
Where are you? Come on! There’s nowhere to run. Show yourself!

The doors along the corridor open and all the guests and family emerge from their rooms.

DOCTOR
Oh, that’s just cheating.

***
Everyone gathers in the drawing room.

LADY EDDISON (in tears)
My faithful companion, this is terrible!

DAVENPORT
Excuse me, my lady, but she was on her way to tell you something.

LADY EDDISON
She never found me. She had an appointment with death instead.

DOCTOR
She said "The poor little child". Does that mean anything to anyone?

COLONEL
No children in this house for years, (looking at his son and Davenport) highly unlikely there will be.

LADY EDDISON
Mrs Christie, you must have twigged something, you’ve written simply the best detective stories.

REVEREND
Tell us, what would Poirot do?

COLONEL
Heavens sake! Cards on the table, woman, you should be helping us.

AGATHA
But, I’m merely a writer.

ROBINA
But surely you can crack it, these events, they’re exactly like one of your plots.

DONNA
That’s what I’ve been saying! Agatha, that’s gotta mean something.

AGATHA
But, what? I’ve no answers. None. I’m sorry, all of you, I’m truly sorry, but I’ve failed. If anyone can help us then it’s the Doctor, not me.

***
Donna sits outside with Agatha.

DONNA
D’you know what I think? Those books of yours, one day they could turn them into films, they could be talking pictures.

AGATHA
Talking pictures? Pictures that... talk? What do you mean?

DONNA
Oh, blimey, I've done it again.

AGATHA
I appreciate you trying to be kind, but you’re right, these murders are like my own creations. It’s as though someone’s mocking me, and I’ve had enough scorn for one lifetime.

DONNA
Yeah... Thing is, I had this bloke once, I was engaged, and I loved him, I really did. Turns out he was lying through his teeth. But d’you know what? I moved on. I was lucky, I found the Doctor, it’s changed my life. There’s always someone else.

AGATHA
I see. Is my marriage the stuff of gossip now?

DONNA
No! I just… sorry.

AGATHA
No matter. The stories are true. I found my husband with another woman. A younger, prettier woman, isn’t it always the way?

DONNA
Well, mine was with a giant spider, but, same difference.

AGATHA
You and the Doctor talk such wonderful nonsense.

DONNA
Agatha, people love your books, they really do, they’re gonna be reading them for years to come.

AGATHA
If only! Try as I might it’s hardly great literature, now that’s beyond me. I’m afraid my books will be forgotten, like ephemera.

She spots something.

AGATHA
Hello, what’s that? Those flowerbeds were perfectly neat earlier, now some of the stalks are bent over.

She takes a small box out of the flowerbed.

DONNA
There you go, who’d ever notice that? You’re brilliant!

***
Ins the room they were questioning the suspects, the Doctor opens the box. It's full of strange tools.

DOCTOR
Oh! Someone came here tooled up. The sort of stuff a thief would use.

AGATHA
The Unicorn? He's here!

DOCTOR
The Unicorn and the wasp...

Greeves enters the room.

GREEVES
Your drinks, ladies. Doctor.

DOCTOR
Very good, Greeves.

They take the drinks and the butler leaves.

DONNA
How about the science stuff, what did you find?

The Doctor pulls out the test tube.

DOCTOR
Vespiform sting. Vespiforms have got hives in the Silfrax galaxy.

AGATHA
Again, you talk like Edward Lear.

DOCTOR
But for some reason, this one's behaving like a character in one of your books.

He sips at his drink.

DONNA
Come on, Agatha, what would Miss Marple do? She'd have overheard something vital by now, because the murderer thinks she's just a harmless old lady.

AGATHA
Clever idea. Miss Marple? Who writes those?

DONNA
Um, copyright Donna Noble, add it to the list.

DOCTOR
Donna...

DONNA
Okay, we could split the copyright.

DOCTOR
No. Something's inhibiting my enzymes. ARGH! (in agony) I've been poisoned!

DONNA
What do we do? What do we do?!

She crouches beside the Doctor, trying to find a way to help, while Agatha smells his drink.

AGATHA
Bitter almonds! It's cyanide! Sparkling cyanide!

The Doctor runs out of the room, stumbling. Donna and Agatha follow him.

***
They burst into the kitchen. The Doctor staggers to Davenport and grabs him.

DOCTOR
Ginger beer!

DAVENPORT (offended)
I beg your pardon?

DOCTOR
I need ginger beer!

He struggles to a the kitchen shelf, sweeping off stuff while he searches for ginger beer.

MRS HART
The gentleman's gone mad!

The Doctor founds the bottle and drinks of it, then pours the rest on his head.

AGATHA
I'm an expert in poisons, Doctor. There's no cure! It's fatal!

He spits out the rest of the drink.

DOCTOR
Not for me! I can stimulate the inhibited enzymes into reversal... Protein! I need protein!

He leans on the worktop, panting in agony, while Donna and Agatha search the kitchen supplies.

DONNA
Walnuts?

DOCTOR
Brilliant!

She hands him a jar of walnuts and he gobbles it down. Mouth full, he can only gesture to Donna, shaking his hand up and down.

DONNA
I can't understand you! How many words?

He shows up one finger.

DONNA
One! One word!

He keeps shaking his hand while Donna is guessing what he means.

DONNA
Shake, milk shake, milk? Milk? No, not milk? Hm, shake shake shake... Cocktail shaker! What do you want, a Harvey Wallbanger?

He finally manages to swallow the walnuts.

DOCTOR
Harvey Wallbanger?!

DONNA
Well, I don't know!

DOCTOR
How is Harvey Wallbanger one word?!

AGATHA
What do you need, Doctor?!

DOCTOR
Salt, I was miming salt! Salt! I need something salty!

DONNA
What about this?

She shows him a brown bag.

DOCTOR
What is it?

DONNA
Salt!

DOCTOR
That's too salty!

DONNA
Oh, that's too salty!

Agatha hands him a jar.

AGATHA
What about this?!

He opens the jar and gobbles the contents.

DONNA
What's that?

AGATHA
Anchovies!

The Doctor gestures again.

DONNA
What is it? What else? It's a song? Mammy? Um, I don't know, Camptown Races?

DOCTOR
Camptown Races?

DONNA
All right then, Towering Inferno!

DOCTOR
It's a shock! Look! Shock! I need a shock!

DONNA
Right then. Big shock, coming up!

She grabs him and kisses him. She lets him go, and the Doctor breathes out a cloud of grey smoke. Donna, Agatha and the kitchen staff stare at him, shocked.

DOCTOR
Detox! (he wipes his mouth) I must do that more often!

Donna gives him a nasty look.

DOCTOR
I mean, the, the detox.

AGATHA (in disbelief)
Doctor, you are impossible! Who are you?

***
There is a clap of thunder and lightning. In the manor, the group is having dinner together in the dining room.

DOCTOR
A terrible day for all of us. (pause) The Professor struck down, Miss Chandrakala taken cruelly from us… and yet we still take dinner.

LADY EDDISON
We are British, Doctor. What else must we do?

DOCTOR
Then someone tried to poison me. Any one of you had the chance to put cyanide in my drink. But it rather gave me an idea.

REVEREND
And what would that be?

DOCTOR
Well … poison. Drink up! (he gets suspicious looks from everyone) I’ve laced the soup with pepper.

COLONEL
Ah, I thought it was jolly spicy.

DOCTOR
But the active ingredient of pepper is piperine. Traditionally used as an insecticide. (they all stare at each other, confused) So, anyone got the shivers?

There is a strike of lightning and the window is blown violently open, the candles blow out and the room goes all dark.

COLONEL
What the deuce is that!?

DOCTOR
Listen… listen, listen, listen!

Silence. They all listen and hear a waspy buzz.

LADY EDDISON (looking around)
No, it can’t be...

There's another strike of lightning.

AGATHA (rising)
Show yourself, demon!

DOCTOR (as they all begin to move)
Nobody move! No, don't, stay where you are!

The Vespiform shows itself.

DOCTOR
Out, out, out, out!

They spread out. The Doctor, pushing Agatha in front of him, ends up in a small room together with Donna and Greeves.

DOCTOR
Not you, Agatha. You’ve got a long, long life to live yet.

He takes a sword from a wall decoration.

DONNA
Well, we know the butler didn’t do it!

DOCTOR (running back)
Then who did?

They find that most of the people didn’t leave the dining room: Robina is sitting in astonishment, gasping, the Colonel is topsy-turvy on his wheelchair, Lady Eddison is at the head of the table, Davenport is on the ground, and the Reverend is to the side of the room.

LADY EDDISON (feeling herself)
My jewelry! The Firestone! It’s gone! Stolen…

DAVENPORT (in horror)
Roger...

Roger is lying with his head in a bowl, a knife in his back. Robina screams. Lady Eddison walks over to his son's body shaking her head in disbelief. She hugs him as she talks.

LADY EDDISON (crying)
My son … my child!

***
In the drawing room, Agatha sits on the sofa and the Doctor stands in front of the fireplace, thinking. Donna walks in and sits next to Agatha.

DONNA
That poor footman. Roger’s dead and he can’t even mourn him. 1926, it’s more like the dark ages.

AGATHA
Did you enquire after the necklace?

DONNA
Lady Eddison bought it back from India. It’s worth thousands.

DOCTOR (pondering)
It can sting, it can fly. It could wipe us all out in seconds, why is it playing this game?

AGATHA
Every murder is essentially the same. They are committed because somebody wants something.

DOCTOR
What does a Vespiform want?

AGATHA
Doctor, stop it. The murderer is as human as you or I.

DOCTOR (sudden realisation)
You’re right!

He walks over and kneels to Agatha.

DOCTOR
Ah, I’ve been so caught up with giant wasps that I’ve forgotten. You’re the expert!

AGATHA
I'm not, I've told you! I’m just a... purveyor of nonsense.

DOCTOR
No, no, no, no, no! Because plenty of people write detective stories, but yours are the best! And why? Why are you so good, Agatha Christie? Because you understand! You’ve lived… you’ve fought… you’ve had your heart broken. You know about people... their passions, their hope, and despair, and anger. All of those tiny, huge things, that can turn the most ordinary person into a killer. Just think, Agatha! If anyone can solve this... it’s you!

***
Everyone has gathered in the drawing room. The Doctor is standing in front of the group.

DOCTOR
I’ve called you here on this endless night, because we have a murderer in our midst. And when it comes to detection, there’s none finer. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you … Agatha Christie!

The Doctor takes a seat next to Donna as Agatha takes his spot.

AGATHA
This is a crooked house. A house of secrets. To understand the solution, we must examine them all. Starting with you…

Agatha pauses, looking in the direction of Lady Edison, but then turns to Robina.

AGATHA
...Miss Redmond.

ROBINA
But I’m innocent, surely?

AGATHA
You’ve never met these people and these people have never met you. I think the real Robina Redmond never left London, you’re impersonating her!

ROBINA
How silly! What proof do you have?

AGATHA
You said you went to the toilet…

DONNA
Oh, I know this. If she was really posh, she’d say ‘loo’.

Agatha reaches down to the coffee table and lifts up the Unicorn's box.

AGATHA
Earlier today, Miss Noble and I found this on the lawn. Right beneath your bathroom window. You must have heard that Miss Noble was searching the bedrooms, so you panicked. You ran upstairs and disposed of the evidence.

A flashback shows exactly what Agatha had just explained.

ROBINA
I’ve never seen that thing before in my life.

LADY EDDISON
What’s inside it?

Agatha opens the box to reveal its contents.

AGATHA
The tools of your trade, Miss Redmond. Or should I say… (showing the tools to everyone) the Unicorn!

Everyone stares at Rubina, shocked.

AGATHA
You came to this house with one sole intention. To steal the Firestone!

Robina looks Agatha closely in the eye, before getting up from her seat. Her voice, her accent, her whole attitude changes.

ROBINA
Oh, alright then. It’s a fair cop. Yes, I’m the bleedin' Unicorn. Ever so nice to meet you, I don’t think. I took my chance in the dark and napped it. Go on then, you knobs. Arrest me, sling me in jail!

She pulls out the Firestone from inside her dress and tosses it to the Doctor.

DONNA
So, is she the murderer?

ROBINA
Don’t be so thick. I might be a thief, but I ain’t no killer.

AGATHA
Quite. There are darker motives at work. And in examining this household, we come to you … (Agatha eyes Lady Edison again, but then turns away) Colonel!

COLONEL
Damn it, woman! You with your perspicacity! You've rumbled me.

He stands up from his wheelchair.

LADY EDDISON
Hugh, you can walk! But why!?

COLONEL
My darling, how else could I be certain of keeping you by my side?

LADY EDDISON
I don't understand...

COLONEL
You're still a beautiful woman, Clemency. Sooner or later some chap will turn your head. I couldn't bear that. Staying in the chair was the only way I could be certain of keeping you. (turning to Agatha) Confound it, Mrs Christie, how did you discover the truth?

AGATHA
Um, actually I had no idea. I was just going to say you're completely innocent.

COLONEL
Oh... ugh.

AGATHA
Sorry!

COLONEL
Well, well shall I sit down then?

AGATHA
Yeah, I think you better had.

He sits down and Lady Eddison holds his hand.

DONNA
So he's not the murderer?

AGATHA
Indeed, not. To find the truth let's return to this. (she takes the Firestone from the Doctor) Far more than the Unicorn's object of desire. The Firestone has quite a history. Lady Eddison.

LADY EDDISON (shocked)
I've done nothing!

AGATHA
You brought it back from India, did you not? Before you met the Colonel. You came home with malaria, and confined yourself to this house for six month, in a room that has been kept locked ever since, which I rather think means...

LADY EDDISON
Stop, please.

AGATHA
I'm so sorry. But you had fallen pregnant in India. Unmarried and ashamed, you hurried back to England with your confidante, a young maid later to become housekeeper Miss Chandrakala.

COLONEL
Clemency, is this true?

LADY EDDISON
My poor baby. I had to give him away. The shame of it.

COLONEL
But you never said a word...

LADY EDDISON
I had no choice. Imagine the scandal. The family name! I'm British, I carry on.

DOCTOR
And it was no ordinary pregnancy.

LADY EDDISON
How can you know that?

DOCTOR
'Scuse me Agatha, this is my territory. But when you heard that buzzing sound in the dining room, you said "It can't be." Why did you say that?

LADY EDDISON (whispering)
You'd never believe it.

AGATHA
The Doctor has opened my mind to believe many things.

Flashback starts, showing what Lady Eddison says.

LADY EDDISON (VO)
It was forty years ago, in the heat of Delhi, late one night. I was alone. And that's when I saw it, a dazzling light in the sky. The next day, he came to the house. Christopher, the most handsome man I'd ever seen. Our love blazed like a wildfire. I held nothing back. And in return ... he showed me the incredible truth about himself. He'd made himself human, to learn about us.

We see Christopher becoming a giant wasp.

LADY EDDISON (VO)
This was his true shape.

Flashback ends.

LADY EDDISON
I loved him so much, it didn't matter. But he was stolen from me. 1885, the year of the great monsoon. The river Jumna rose up and broke its banks. He was taken at the flood. But Christopher left me a parting gift, (flashback shows him giving her the Firestone) a jewel like no other. I wore it always, part of me never forgot. I kept it close. Always.

ROBINA
Just like a man, flashes his family jewels, and you end up with a bun in the oven!

AGATHA
A "poor little child". Forty years ago, Miss Chandrakala took that newborn babe to an orphanage. But Professor Peach worked it out. He found the birth certificate.

DONNA
Oh, that's maiden! Maiden name!

AGATHA
Precisely.

DONNA
So, she killed him?

LADY EDDISON
I did not!

AGATHA
Miss Chandrakala feared that the Professor had unearthed your secret. She was coming to warn you.

DONNA
So, she killed her?

LADY EDDISON
I did not!

AGATHA
Lady Eddison (pause) is innocent. Because at this point... Doctor!

The Doctor rises from his seat and takes Agatha's place.

DOCTOR
Thank you. At this point, when we consider the lies and the secrets, and the key to these events, then we have to consider... it was you, Donna Noble!

He points to Donna who is staring at him in shock.

DONNA
What!? Who did I kill?

DOCTOR
No, but you said it, all along. The vital clue. This whole thing is being acted out like a murder mystery. Which means ... (he points to Agatha) it was you, Agatha Christie!

AGATHA (astounded)
I beg your pardon, sir!

DONNA
So, she killed them?

DOCTOR
No! But she wrote! She wrote those brilliant, clever books. And who’s her greatest admirer? The moving finger points at you... (he points at Lady Eddison) Lady Eddison!

LADY EDDISON
Don't, leave me alone!

DONNA
So, she did kill them?

DOCTOR
No! But just think, last Thursday night, what were you doing?

LADY EDDISON
I was… I was in the library. I was reading my favourite Agatha Christie (flashback shows Lady Eddison reading in the library) thinking about her plots, and how clever she must be. How is that relevant?

DOCTOR
Just think. What else happened on Thursday night?

The Doctor looks at Reverend Golightly who stares back, confused.

REVEREND
I’m sorry?

DOCTOR
You said on the lawn, this afternoon. Last Thursday night, those boys broke into your church.

REVEREND
That’s correct.

Flashback of him walking into the church and finding a robbery.

REVEREND (VO)
They did. I discovered the two of them. Thieves in the night, I was most perturbed.

REVEREND (in the flashback)
What the blazes are you doing boys?

Flashback ends.

REVEREND
But, I apprehended them.

DOCTOR
Really? A man of God against two strong lads? A man in his forties? Or, should I say... forty years old, exactly?

LADY EDDISON
Oh my god!

DOCTOR
Lady Eddison, your child, how old would he be now?

LADY EDDISON
Forty, he’s forty!

DOCTOR
Your child has come home.

REVEREND
This is poppycock!

DOCTOR
Oh? You said you were taught by the Christian Fathers. Meaning, you were raised in an orphanage.

LADY EDDISON
My son... can it be?

DOCTOR
You found those thieves, Reverend, and you got angry! A proper, deep anger, for the first time in your life, and it broke the genetic lock! You’ve changed!

Flashback to the night of the robbery, where we left off. The boys are heading away from the alter with the stolen items.

REVEREND
Put thozzzzze … thingzzzzz... back where you found them! It'zzzz...

Purple light engulfs him and he shakes violently. Flashback ends.

DOCTOR
You realized your inheritance! After all these years, you knew who you were.

He snatches the Firestone off Agatha.

DOCTOR
Oh, and then it all kicks off, cos this isn’t just jewel. It’s a Vespiform telepathic recorder! It’s part of you, your brain, your very essence. When you activated, so did the Firestone. It beamed your full identity directly into your mind. And, at the same time (flashback of Lady Eddison reading 'The murder of Roger Ackroyd' in the library) it absorbed the works of Agatha Christie, directly from Lady Eddison. It all became part of you.

Flashes of the Reverend and random pages from the book.

DOCTOR
Mechanics of those novels formed a template in your brain. You’ve killed, in this pattern, because that’s what you think the world is. Turns out, we are in the middle of a murder mystery. One of yours, Dame Agatha!

AGATHA
Dame?

DOCTOR
Oh, sorry, not yet.

DONNA
So he killed them? Yes? Definitely?

DOCTOR
Yes.

REVEREND
Well ...this has certainly been a most entertaining evening.

Everyone stares at him.

REVEREND
Really, you can’t believe any of this surely, Lady Edizzzz...

DOCTOR
Lady who?

REVEREND (struggling)
Lady Edizzzzzon...

DOCTOR
Little bit of buzzing there, Vicar?

REVEREND
Don't make me angry!

He rises from his seat and stands up in front of the group.

DOCTOR
Why? What happens then?

REVEREND
Damn it! You humanzzzz! Worshipping your tribal sky godzzz! I am so much more! That night, the universe exploded in my mind! I wanted to take what wazzz mine. And you, Agatha Christie, with your railway station bookstall romancezzzzz… What'zzzzz to stop me killing you?

LADY EDDISON
Oh, my dear god. (reaching out towards him) My child!

Purple light surrounds the Reverend while he transforms into the Vespiform.

REVEREND
What'zzzz to stop me killing you all?

Fully transformed, he flies at the people.

LADY EDDISON
Forgive me!

COLONEL
No, no, Clemency, come back! Keep away, keep away my darling!

He pulls her away from the Vespiform. They back into a corner with Greeves and Robina.

AGATHA (holding up the Firestone)
No! No more murder! If my imagination made you kill, then my imagination will find a way to stop you, foul creature!

She runs out, the Doctor, Donna and the Vespiform following her.

DONNA
Wait! Now it’s chasing us!

The two get out of the manor and shut the door behind them. Agatha drives up in one of the vintage cars and beeps a horns at them. The Vespiform breaks through the door.

AGATHA
Over here! Come and get me, Reverend!

DOCTOR
Agatha, what are you doing?

AGATHA
If I started this Doctor, then I must stop it!

She drives away. The Doctor and Donna run towards the other car. The Vespiform hesitates for a second, then flies off after Agatha.

DOCTOR
Come on!

AGATHA
It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault, it’s all my fault!

The Doctor and Donna follow her with the other car.

DONNA
You said this is the night Agatha Christie loses her memory.

DOCTOR
Time is in flux, Donna! For all we know, this is the night Agatha Christie loses her life and history gets changed.

DONNA
But where’s she going?

DOCTOR
The lake! She’s heading for the lake. What’s she doing?

The cars stop at the Silent Pool lake. Agatha gets out and holds up the Firestone, which is engulfed in purple glow.

AGATHA
Here I am! The honey in the trap. Come to me, Vespiform...

DONNA
She’s controlling it!

DOCTOR
Its mind is based on her thought processes. They’re linked!

Donna and the Doctor stand beside Agatha.

AGATHA
Quite so, Doctor! If I die, then this creature might die with me.

The Doctor steps in front of Agatha and faces the Vespiform.

DOCTOR
Don’t hurt her! You’re not meant to be like this. You’ve got the wrong template in your mind.

DONNA
It’s not listening.

Donna snatches the Firestone off Agatha and throws it into the lake, the Vespiform chasing after it, drowning in a purple glow. The three of them look down at the lake in sorrow.

DONNA (sadly)
How d'you kill a wasp? Drown it. Just like his father.

DOCTOR
Donna, that thing couldn't help itself.

DONNA (defensively)
Neither could I!

AGATHA
Death comes as the end... and justice is served.

DOCTOR
Murder at the Vicar’s rage. (Donna stares at him) Needs a bit of work.

AGATHA
Just one mystery left, Doctor. Who exactly are you?

The Doctor takes a deep breath to answer, but Agatha suddenly collapses, yelling in pain.

DOCTOR
Oh, it’s the Firestone! It’s part of the Vespiform’s mind. It’s dying and it’s connected to Agatha!

A purple glow engulfs Agatha, but then it stops and she rests silently with her eyes shut.

DOCTOR
He let her go. Right at the end, the Vespiform chose to save someone’s life.

DONNA
Is she alright, though?

DOCTOR
Oh, of course! The amnesia! Wiped her mind of everything that happened. The wasp, the murders…

DONNA
And us! She’ll forget about us.

DOCTOR
Yeah, but we’ve solved another riddle. The mystery of Agatha Christie. And tomorrow morning, her car gets found by the side of the lake.

We see repeat of the flashes from the beginning of the episode: the view of Agatha’s car by the lake...

DOCTOR (VO)
A few days later, she turns up in hotel at Harrogate, with no idea of what just happened.

...Agatha standing at the Harrogate Hotel entrance, looking at the Doctor and Donna in confusion...

DOCTOR (VO)
No-one'll ever know.

...then she slowly walks into the hotel.

DONNA (VO)
Lady Eddison, the Colonel, and all the staff … what about them?

Camera turns to the Doctor and Donna standing outside the TARDIS, near the hotel.

DOCTOR
Shameful story. They'd never talk of it. Too British. While the Unicorn does a bunk, back to London town. She could never even say she was there.

DONNA
But, what happens to Agatha?

DOCTOR
Oh, great life! Met another man, married again. Saw the world. Wrote and wrote and wrote.

DONNA
She never thought her books were any good, though. And she must have spent all those years wondering.

They get into the TARDIS, the Doctor puts his coat on one of the ‘trees’ inside.

DOCTOR
Thing is, I don’t think she ever quite forgot. Great mind like that, some of the details kept bleeding through. All the stuff her imagination could use. Like, Miss Marple!

DONNA
I should have made her sign a contract.

DOCTOR
And, where is it, where is it, hold on…

[He lifts up a piece of the TARDIS floor and gets out a chest.

DOCTOR
Here we go. C...

He opens the chest and rummages the contents.

DOCTOR
That is, C for Cybermen (he throws aside a Cyberman chest plate), C for Carrionites (he discards the Carrionite globe too, then does the same with the head of a stone statue), and... (he finds a book) Christie, Agatha!

He shows it to Donna. It is 'Death in the Clouds', with a giant wasp on the cover.

DOCTOR
Look at that.

DONNA
She did remember!

DOCTOR
Somewhere in the back of her mind, it all lingered. And that’s not all. Look at the copyright page.

He hands the book to Donna and she examines the copyright page.

DONNA
Facsimile edition, published in the year… five billion?!

DOCTOR
People never stop reading them. She is the best selling novelist, of all time.

DONNA (sighing)
But she never knew.

DOCTOR
Well, no one knows how they’re gonna be remembered. All we can do is hope for the best. Maybe that’s what kept her writing. Same thing keeps me travelling. (smiling at Donna) Onwards?

DONNA (smiling back)
Onwards!

They watch the TARDIS console happily as the engines start to work.

Monday 12 May 2008

4x06 - The Doctor's Daughter

In the TARDIS, the Doctor and his companions are clinging furiously to the console as the TARDIS flies violently through the vortex. They are shaking to every possible side while the Doctor tries to regain some control. Sparks are flying, Donna and Martha are screaming while the Doctor has a look of deep concern.

DONNA
What the hell's it doing?

DOCTOR
Controls aren't working!

He tries again with a control and sparks fly. He falls to the floor and sees his hand in the jar bubbling wildly.

DOCTOR
I don't know where we're going but my old hand's very excited about it!

DONNA
I thought that was just some freaky alien thing! You telling me it's yours?

DOCTOR
Well...

MARTHA
It got cut off. He grew a new one!

DONNA
You are completely... impossible!

DOCTOR
Not impossible, just... a bit unlikely!

The TARDIS makes one last rebellious explosion, sparks fly. The Doctor and his companions fall backwards, the Doctor lands in the chair next to the console. The TARDIS has landed. The Doctor looks at his companions before suddenly running towards the door and outside. He exits the TARDIS and looks around curiously. They seem to be in some underground tunnel, littered with junk and old equipment. His companions soon follow.

DOCTOR
Why would the TARDIS bring us here?

MARTHA
Oh, I love this bit.

DONNA
Thought you wanted to go home.

MARTHA
I know, but all the same...

The Doctor is going about his business, seemingly oblivious to the conversation. He licks his hands and looks into the distance.

MARTHA
It's that feeling you get...

DONNA
Like you swallowed a hamster?

At that moment, the Doctor and his companions hear a loud noise. They look over to the source of the commotion. Soldiers are coming.

CLINE
Don't move, stay where you are! Drop your weapons.

The soldiers point their guns at the TARDIS crew who show they are unarmed.

DOCTOR
We're not armed! Look, no weapons. Never any weapons. We're safe.

SOLDIER
Look at their hands. They're clean.

CLINE
Alright, process them! Him first.

The two soldiers who accompanied Cline move towards the Doctor. They grab him and drag him towards a strange machine.

DOCTOR
Oi, oi! What's wrong with clean hands?!

MARTHA
What's going on?

DONNA
Leave him alone!

The Doctor's hand is forced into the machine and he makes yells of pain as it whizzes away doing it's job.

DOCTOR
Something tells me this isn't about to check my blood pressure AAGGGH!

DONNA
What're you doing to him?

CLINE
Everyone gets processed.

DOCTOR
It's taken a tissue sample. Ow ow ow ow ow ow! And extrapolated it! Some kind of accelerator?

The machine lets the Doctor go, and he moves back, examining his hand. Donna and Martha run to him while he looks at a larger machine near the 'processor'.

MARTHA
Are you alright?

She examines his hand and notices a Y-shaped graze. The Doctor and Donna keep an eye on the other machine as it opens.

DOCTOR
What on earth? That's just...

A woman steps out from the machine, smoke billowing everywhere. The Doctor and his companions look on curiously as the woman looks around, also curious.

CLINE
Arm yourself!

He hands the woman the gun, and she naturally handles it.

MARTHA
Where did she come from?

DOCTOR
From me.

The woman is arming the gun as the Doctor, looking totally shocked himself, explains the situation to his companions.

DONNA
From you?! How? Who is she?

DOCTOR
Well... she's... well... she's my daughter!

Jenny, the woman, looks on with a smile on her face.

JENNY
Hello dad!

***
OPENING CREDITS

DAVID TENNANT
CATHERINE TATE
and
FREEMA AGYEMAN

THE DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER
by Stephen Greenhorn
***

Jenny joins the soldiers while the Doctor and his companions stay in the background.

CLINE
You primed to take orders, ready to fight?

JENNY
Instant mental download of all strategic and military protocols, sir. Generation 5000 soldier primed and in peak physical health. Oh, I’m ready.

DONNA
Did you say, daughter?

DOCTOR
Mm. Technically.

MARTHA
Technically how?

DOCTOR
Progenation. Reproduction from a single organism. Means one parent is biological mother and father. You take a sample of diploid cells, split them into haploids, then recombine them in a different arrangement, and grow. Very quickly, apparently.

JENNY
Something’s coming!

Hath run down the tunnel shooting.

CLINE
It’s the Hath!

The human soldiers shoot back.

JENNY
Get down!

CLINE
We have to blow the tunnel! Get the detonator!

DOCTOR
I’m not detonating anything!

A Hath grabs Martha and pulls her away, while Jenny kicks the other Hath and picks up the detonator.

CLINE
Blow that thing, blow the thing!

DOCTOR
Martha! No! Don’t!

Jenny presses the button, and they all run to cover before the tunnel explodes. The Doctor goes back to see the tunnel sealed, so Martha is stuck on the other side, or possibly dead.

DOCTOR
You’ve sealed off the tunnel. Why did you do that?!

JENNY
They were trying to kill us!

DOCTOR
But they’ve got my friend!

JENNY
Collateral damage. At least you’ve still got her, he lost both his men, I’d say you came out ahead.

DONNA
Her name’s Martha, and she’s not collateral damage, not for anyone! Have you got that, GI Jane?!

DOCTOR
I’m gonna find her.

CLINE (pointing gun at them)
You’re going nowhere. You don’t make sense, you two. No guns, no marks, no fight in you… I’m taking you to General Cobb. Now, move.

***
Martha wakes up in the debris of the explosion and spots an injured Hath.

MARTHA
Hold on, I’ve got you, is it your arm, yeah?

The Hath gurgles.

MARTHA
Is that a yes?

The Hath nods.

MARTHA
Let me examine it. Keep still. Still, yeah? No move!

The Hath nods.

MARTHA
Half fish, half human, how'm I supposed to know? Is that a shoulder? Feels like a shoulder! I think it’s dislocated.

Several Hath march in and point guns at Martha.

MARTHA
I’m trying to help him! I am a doctor and he is my patient, and I’m not leaving him! Now, this is gonna hurt. One, two, three!

Martha snaps the shoulder back into place. The Hath cock their guns. The injured Hath explains them that she was helping him, and the guns are lowered.

MARTHA
Now, then. I’m Doctor Martha Jones. Who the hell are you?

***
Cline, Jenny, Donna and the Doctor walk through the tunnels.

DONNA
I’m Donna, what’s you name?

JENNY
Don’t know, it’s not been assigned.

DONNA
Well, if you don’t know that, what do you know?

JENNY
How to fight.

DONNA
Nothing else?

DOCTOR
The machine must embed military history and tactics but no name. She’s a generated anomaly.

DONNA
Generated anomaly? Jenny-rated. Well what about that? Jenny!

JENNY
Jenny. Yeah, I like that, Jenny.

DONNA
What do you think, ‘Dad’?

DOCTOR
Good as anything, I suppose.

DONNA
Not what you’d call a natural parent, are you?

DOCTOR
They stole a tissue sample at gunpoint and processed it, it’s not what I call natural parentage.

DONNA
Rubbish! My friend Nerys fathered twins with a turkey baster, don’t bother her.

DOCTOR
You can't extrapolate a relationship from a biological accident.

DONNA
Er, Child Support Agency can.

DOCTOR
Look, just cos I share certain physiological traits with simian primates doesn’t make me a monkey’s uncle, does it?

JENNY
I’m not a monkey! Or a child.

They reach the human encampment, a huge underground room.

DOCTOR
So, where are we? What planet's this?

CLINE
Messaline. Well, what’s left of it.

TANNOY
...663 – 75 deceased. Generation 6671 – Extinct. Generation 6672 – 46 deceased. Generation 6680 – 14 deceased. Generation ...

DONNA
But, this is a theatre!

DOCTOR
Maybe they’re doing Miss Saigon.

DONNA
It’s like a town, or a city, underground. But why?

Cline just finished reporting to an older soldier who now walks to the Doctor and Donna.

DOCTOR
General Cobb, I presume?

GENERAL COBB
Found in the Western tunnels, I’m told, with no marks. There was an outbreak of pacifism in the Eastern Zone, three generations back, before we lost contact, is that where you came from?

DOCTOR
Eastern Zone, that’s us, yeah. Yeah. I’m The Doctor, this is Donna.

JENNY
And I’m Jenny.

GENERAL COBB
Don’t think you can infect us with your peacemaking. We’re committed to the fight, to the very end.

DOCTOR
Well, that’s all right, I can’t stay anyway. I’ve gotta go and find my friend.

GENERAL COBB
That’s not possible, all movement is regulated. We’re at war.

DOCTOR
Yes, I noticed. With the Hath. But tell me, cos we got a bit out of circulation, Eastern Zone and all that, so, who exactly are the Hath?

***
The Hath lead Martha into their base, similar to the human encampment. They seem delighted to meet a friendly human and they all pet Martha.

***
GENERAL COBB
Back at the dawn of this planet, these ancient halls were carved from the earth. Our ancestors dreamt of a new beginning, a colony where human and Hath could work and live together.

DOCTOR
So what happened?

GENERAL COBB
The dream died. Broken, along with Hath promises. They wanted it all for themselves. But those early pioneers, they fought back. They used the machines to produce soldiers instead of colonists, and began this battle for survival.

DONNA
There’s nothing but earth outside, why’s that? Why build everything underground?

CLINE
The surface is too dangerous.

DONNA
Well, then why build windows in the first place? And what does this mean?

Donna points at a number stamped on the wall.

GENERAL COBB
The rites and symbols of our ancestors. The meanings... lost in time.

DOCTOR
How long’s this war gone on for?

GENERAL COBB
Longer than anyone can remember. Countless generations marked only by the dead.

DONNA
What, fighting all this time?

JENNY
Because we must. Every child of the machine is born with this knowledge. It’s our inheritance, it’s all we know. How to fight. And how to die.

***
The Hath and Martha are looking at a holographic map.

MARTHA
Right…so we’re here?

She points at the map.

***
At the human camp, the Doctor is looking at an identical map.

DOCTOR
Does this show the entire city, including the Hath zones?

GENERAL COBB
Yes. Why?

DOCTOR
Well it’ll help us find Martha.

CLINE
We’ve more important things to do. The Progenation Machines are powered down for the night shift, but soon as they’re active, we could breed a whole platoon from you two.

DONNA
I’m not having sons and daughters by some great big flippin’ machine! (looking at Jenny) Sorry, no offence but you’re not... well I mean you’re not real.

JENNY
You’re no better than him! I have a body, I have a mind, I have independent thought, how am I not real? What makes you better than me?

GENERAL COBB
Well said, soldier. We need more like you if ever we’re to find the Source.

DOCTOR
Ooh, the Source, what’s that then, what’s a Source? I like a Source, what is it?

GENERAL COBB
The Breath of Life.

DOCTOR
And that would be...?

CLINE
In the beginning the great one breathed life into the universe. And then she looked at what she’d done, and she sighed.

JENNY
She? I like that.

DOCTOR
Right, so it’s a creation myth.

GENERAL COBB
It’s not myth. It’s real. That sigh. From the beginning of time it was caught and kept as the Source. It was lost when the war started. But it’s here, somewhere. Whoever holds the Source controls the destiny of the planet.

DOCTOR
Ah! I thought so! There’s a suppressed layer of information in this map, if I can just…

He sonics the map and more tunnels appear on it.

DONNA
What is it, what’s it mean?

DOCTOR
See? A whole complex of tunnels, hidden from sight.

***
The extra tunnels appear on the Hath map too.

MARTHA
Hold on, look!

***
GENERAL COBB
That must be the lost temple. The source will be inside. You’ve shown us the way! And look, we’re closer than the Hath! It’s ours!

***
MARTHA
That’s a new map. There’s a different set of tunnels!

***
GENERAL COBB
Tell them to prepare to move out. We’ll progenate new soldiers on the morning shift, then we march. Once we reach the Temple, peace will be restored at long last.

DOCTOR
Um, call me old-fashioned, but if you really wanted peace couldn’t you just stop fighting?

GENERAL COBB
Only when we have the Source. It’ll give us the power to erase every stinking Hath from the face of this planet!

DOCTOR
Hang on, hang on, a second ago it was peace in our time, now you’re talking about genocide!?

GENERAL COBB
For us, that means the same thing.

DOCTOR
Then you need to get yourself a better dictionary. When you do, look up genocide. You’ll see a little picture of me there and the caption will read 'Over my dead body'!

GENERAL COBB
And you’re the one who showed us the path to victory. But you can consider the irony from your prison cell. Cline, at arms!

Cline points his gun at the Doctor and Donna.

DONNA
Oi, oi oi! All right! Cool the beans Rambo!

GENERAL COBB
Take them, I won’t have them spreading treason. And if you try anything, Doctor, I’ll see that your woman dies first.

DOCTOR
No, we're, we're not a couple.

DONNA
I am not his woman!

CLINE
Come on. This way.

DOCTOR
I’m going to stop you, Cobb, you need to know that.

GENERAL COBB
I have an army and the breath of god on my side, Doctor, what’ll you have?

DOCTOR
This.

The Doctor points to his head.

GENERAL COBB
Lock them up, and guard them.

CLINE
What about the new soldier?

Jenny steps forward but Cobb pushes him away, into the Doctor's arms.

GENERAL COBB
Can’t trust her, she’s from pacifist stock. Take them all!

***
The Hath wave their guns in the air, celebrating Martha.

MARTHA
But, I didn’t do anything!

The Hath pat her on the back and continue to wave their guns in the air.

MARTHA
I think I just started a war.

***
The Doctor, Donna and Jenny enter their cell. Donna notices there are numbers there too.

DONNA
More numbers. They’ve gotta mean something.

DOCTOR
Makes as much sense as the breath of life story.

JENNY
You mean that’s not true?

DONNA
No, it’s a myth. Isn’t it, Doctor?

DOCTOR
Yes, but there could still be something real in that temple, something that’s become a myth. A piece of technology, a weapon.

DONNA
So the Source could be a weapon and we’ve just given directions to Captain Nutjob?

DOCTOR
Oh, yes.

DONNA
Not good, is it?

DOCTOR
That’s why we need to get out of here, find Martha and stop Cobb from slaughtering the Hath.

He notices Jenny's inquisitive look.

DOCTOR
What, what are you, what are you…what are you staring at?

JENNY
You keep insisting you’re not a soldier. But look at you! Drawing up strategies like a proper general.

DOCTOR
No no, I’m trying to stop the fighting.

JENNY
Isn’t every soldier?

DOCTOR
Well. I suppose. But that’s… that’s… technically... I haven’t got time for this! Donna, give me your phone! Time for an upgrade!

She handles him the phone and he sonics it.

JENNY
And now you’ve got a weapon!

DOCTOR
It’s not a weapon.

JENNY
But you’re using it to fight back! (she laughs) I’m gonna learn so much from you, you are such a soldier!

DOCTOR
Donna, will you tell her?

DONNA
Oh, you are speechless, I’m loving this! You keep on, Jenny!

MARTHA (on the phone)
Doctor?

DOCTOR
Martha! You're alive!

MARTHA
Doctor! Oh, am I glad to hear your voice! Are you all right?

DOCTOR
I'm with Donna, we're fine, what about you?

DONNA
And, and Jenny, she's fine too!

DOCTOR
Yes all right, (louder, to Martha) and, and Jenny... That's the woman from the machine, the soldier, my daughter, except she isn't, she's, she's... Anyway! Where are you?

MARTHA
I'm in the Hath camp. I'm OK, but, something's going on. The Hath are all marching off to some place that's appeared on this map thing.

DOCTOR
Ohhh... That was me. If both armies are heading that way, there's going to be a bloodbath.

MARTHA
What do you want me to do?

DOCTOR
Just stay where you are, if you're safe there then don't move, d'you hear?

MARTHA
But I can help.

The phone beeps and the connection breaks.

MARTHA
Doctor? Doctor!

***
General Cobb makes a speech to his troops.

GENERAL COBB
The doors that have been closed will be open to us now. The door to the Temple, to the Source, and to victory!

The soldiers cheer.

GENERAL COBB
Come the dawn cycle we march.

Their cheers and chanting is heard in the prison cell.

DOCTOR
They're getting ready to move out. We have to get past that guard.

JENNY
I can deal with him.

DOCTOR
No no no no. You're not going anywhere.

JENNY
What?

DOCTOR
You belong here, with them.

DONNA
She belongs with us. With you. She's your daughter!

DOCTOR
She's a soldier. She came out of that machine!

DONNA
Oh yes, I know that bit! Listen, have you got that stethoscope? Give it to me. Come on!

JENNY
What're you doing?

DONNA
It's all right. Just hold still.

Donna places the stethoscope to Jenny's chest, first on the left, then on the right. Then she looks at the Doctor.

DONNA
Come here. Listen. And then tell me where she belongs.

She handles him the stethoscope and makes him hear heartbeats on both sides. He steps back and stares at Jenny.

DOCTOR
Two hearts.

DONNA
Exactly.

JENNY
What's going on?

DONNA
Does that mean she's a...? What do you call a female Time Lord?

JENNY
What's a Time Lord?

DOCTOR
It's who I am. It's where I'm from.

JENNY
And I'm from you.

DOCTOR
You're an echo, that's all. A Time Lord is so much more. A sum of knowledge. A code. A shared history. A shared suffering. (pause) Only it's gone now. All of it. Gone forever.

JENNY
What happened?

DOCTOR
There was a war.

JENNY
Like this one?

He laughs at the absurdity of the comparison.

DOCTOR
Bigger. Much bigger.

JENNY
And you fought? And killed?

DOCTOR (darkly)
Yes.

JENNY
Then how are we different?

***
Martha is talking to the only Hath who stayed in the encampment with her.

MARTHA
I need to charge it up, I need power, d'you understand?

The Hath is fiddling with the controls of the map, changing it into 3D.

MARTHA
There's even more! In 3D! Oh, you're a clever Hath! So this is where everybody's headed? But look... those tunnels sort of zig-zag. If I went up and over the surface in a straight line, I'd get there first.

The Hath gurgles, protesting.

MARTHA
Why not?

He brings up a diagram.

MARTHA
Are these readings to the surface? Well it doesn't look too bad. Nitrogen and oxygen about 80:20, that's fine. Ozone levels are high. And some big radiation spikes. But as long as I'm not out there too long...

The Hath seems to ask a question.

MARTHA
I have to find my friends.

She runs off but turns back to the gurgling of the Hath, he seems to ask if he can come too.

MARTA
Come on, then!

***
Jenny goes to the cell door to talk with Cline.

JENNY
Hey.

CLINE
I'm not supposed to talk to you, I'm on duty.

JENNY
I know. Guarding me. (flirting) So does that mean I'm dangerous? Or that I need protecting?

CLINE
Protecting from what?

JENNY
Oh, I don't know. Men like you?

She pulls him closer for a kiss - then grabs his gun and points it at him.

JENNY
Keep quiet and open the door.

During this, the Doctor and Donna were waiting out of sight.

DONNA
I'd like to see you try that!

***
They walk downstairs, but stop when they notice another guard.

DOCTOR
That's the way out.

Jenny cocks the gun but the Doctor stops him.

DOCTOR
Don't you dare!

Donna steps between the two.

DONNA
Let me distract this one. I have picked up a few womanly wiles over the years.

DOCTOR
Let's... save your wiles for later. In case of emergency.

He uses a wind-up mouse to distract the guard, then Jenny steps behind the guard and knocks him out.

DOCTOR
I was gonna distract him, not clobber him!

JENNY
Well, it worked, didn't it?

DOCTOR
They must all have a copy of that new map. Just stay there, don't hurt anyone.

***
The Hath are marching down a corridor, then they stop at a point and start to break through the wall.

***
Martha and his new friend are heading upstairs, but the Hath starts to protest.

MARTHA
You can stay down here and live your whole life in the shadows, or come with me and stand in the open air. Feel the wind on your face. What's it gonna be? (he seems undecided) It's up to you. But nothing's gonna stop me.

She climbs out to the surface, the Hath following her. They are on a cold, windy, deserted planet lit by three moons.

MARTHA
I knew you couldn't resist it.

The Hath gurgles.

MARTHA
Er, language! Come on.

***
The soldiers find Cline inside the cell, tied up.

CLINE
It was the girl. She tricked me, they... they got away. I'm sorry.

GENERAL COBB
I waited all my life for this moment. No-one's gonna get in my way. Certainly not this Doctor. At arms! We march! To war!

***
The Doctor is looking at the map they've taken from the guard.

DOCTOR
Wait! This is it. The hidden tunnel. There must be a control panel.

He sonics the walls beside the locked door, while Donna notices another number.

DONNA
It's another one of those numbers. They're everywhere.

DOCTOR
The original builders must've left them. Some old cataloguing system.

DONNA
You got a pen? Bit of paper? Cos, d'you see, the numbers are counting down. (the Doctor gives her pen and paper and she takes notes) This one ends in 1-4, the prison cell said 1-6.

JENNY
Always thinking, both of you. Who are you people?

DOCTOR
I told you. I'm the Doctor.

JENNY
The Doctor? That's it?

DONNA
That's all he ever says.

JENNY
So, you don't have a name either? Are you an anomaly too?

DOCTOR
No.

DONNA
Oh, come off it! You're the most anomalous bloke I've ever met!

The Doctor takes off the cover of the control panel.

DOCTOR
Here it is!

JENNY
And Time Lords, what are they for exactly?

DOCTOR
'For'? They're not... They're not 'for' anything.

JENNY
So what do you do?

DOCTOR
I travel. Through time and space.

DONNA
He saves planets, rescues civilizations, defeats terrible creatures. And runs a lot. Seriously, there's an outrageous amount of running involved.

The door slides open.

DOCTOR
Got it!

GENERAL COBB (voice from the distance)
Squad 5, with me!

DOCTOR
Now, what were you saying about running?

They run, but soon are stopped by red beams crossing the tunnel, blocking their way.

DONNA
That's not mood lighting, is it?

The Doctor throws the clockwork mouse into the lights. It bursts into sparkles when it touches the first beam.

DONNA
No, I didn't think so.

DOCTOR
Arming device.

He starts to fiddle with the controls while Donna notices yet another set of numbers.

DONNA
There's more of these. Always eight numbers, counting down, the closer we get...

DOCTOR
Here we go!

DONNA
You better be quick!

JENNY (hearing the voice of the soldiers)
The General!

She turns to run back but the Doctor catches her.

DOCTOR
Where are you going?

JENNY
I can hold them up.

DOCTOR
No, we don't need any more dead.

JENNY
But it's them or us.

DOCTOR
It doesn't mean you have to kill them!

JENNY
I'm trying to save your life!

DOCTOR
Listen to me, the killing, after a while it infects you. And once it does you're never rid of it.

JENNY
We don't have a choice.

DOCTOR
We always have a choice.

JENNY
I'm sorry.

She runs off.

DOCTOR
Jenny!

SOLDIERS
This door! Now!

The first soldier catches sight of Jenny.

SOLDIER
There she is! At arms!

Jenny opens fire and the soldiers do the same. Hearing the shots, Donna looks very worried but the Doctor tries not to care.

DOCTOR
I told you. Nothing but a soldier.

DONNA
She's trying to help.

DOCTOR
Jenny! Come on!

JENNY
I'm coming!

GENERAL COBB
Cease fire! Cease fire!

The soldiers stop. At the same time, the Doctor manages to turn off the red beams.

DONNA
That's it!

DOCTOR
Jenny! Leave it! Let's go!

He and Donna run through the now safe corridor hand in hand. General Cobb walks forward, trying to persuade Jenny.

GENERAL COBB
You're a child of the machine. You're on my side. Join us! Join us in the war against the Hath. It's in your blood, girl, don't deny it.

Jenny takes aim, but then she fires at a pipeline over Cobb's head, and a cloud of steam blocks the soldiers view. She laughs then runs to where she's left the Doctor and Donna.

DOCTOR
Jenny! Come on! That's it!

DONNA
Hurry up!

But just when she reaches the corridor the red beams appear again.

DOCTOR
No, no, no, no! The circuit's looped back!

DONNA
Zap it back again!

DOCTOR
The controls are back there!

JENNY
They're coming!

DOCTOR
Wait! J-Just...! There isn't...! Jenny, I can't!

JENNY
I'll have to manage on my own. Watch and learn, Father!

She gets through the blocked corridor with a series of somersaults.

DONNA
No way! But that was impossible!

DOCTOR
Not impossible. Just a bit unlikely!

He hugs Jenny with a proud smile.

DOCTOR
Brilliant! You were brilliant! Brilliant!

JENNY
I didn't kill him. General Cobb, I could have kill him, but I didn't. You were right. I had a choice.

The soldiers arrive to the other end of the corridor. Donna and Jenny go ahead but the Doctor stays to talk to Cobb.

GENERAL COBB
At arms!

DOCTOR
I warned you, Cobb. If the Source is a weapon, I'm gonna make sure you never use it.

GENERAL COBB
One of us is gonna die today and it won't be me.

He opens fire and the Doctor runs off too.

***
Martha and the Hath are struggling forward on the surface.

MARTHA
It can't be much further.

She trips and slips downhills, into a bog. She tries to get out but she can't.

MARTHA
Help me! I'm sinking! I'm sinking! Help me! Peck! Help me! Help me, Peck! I'm sinking! (the Hath can't reach her) Oh it's no good. Aaah!

The Hath can't help her, so at the end he jumps into the bog too and pushes her out to the shore. But then he himself can't get out and Martha watches him sink slowly.

MARTHA
Oh noooo! Noooo!

She cries as she watches the motionless surface.

***
JENNY
So, you travel together, but you're not... 'together'?

DONNA
What? No, no! No way! No, no. We're friends. That's all. I mean, we're not even the same species, there's probably laws against it.

Jenny laughs.

JENNY
And what's it like, the travelling?

DONNA
Ah, never a dull moment. Can be terrifying, brilliant and funny - sometimes all at the same time. I've seen some amazing things though. Whole new worlds.

JENNY
Oh, I'd love to see new worlds.

DONNA
You will. Won't she, Doctor?

DOCTOR
Hm?

DONNA
D'you think Jenny will see any new worlds?

DOCTOR (with a little smile)
I suppose so.

JENNY
You mean... You mean, you'll take me with you?

DOCTOR
We can't leave you here, can we?

JENNY (hugging him)
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! Come on! Let's get a move on!

She runs ahead.

DOCTOR
Careful, there might be traps!

DONNA
Kids! They never listen!

But she notices that the Doctor still looks troubled.

DONNA
Oh, I know that look. See it a lot round our way. Blokes with pushchairs and frowns. You've got dad-shock.

DOCTOR
Dad-shock?

DONNA
Sudden, unexpected fatherhood. Take a bit of getting used to.

DOCTOR
No, it's not that.

DONNA
Well, what is it then? Having Jenny in the TARDIS is that it? What's she gonna do, cramp your style? Like you've got a sports car and she's gonna turn it into a people-carrier?

DOCTOR
Donna, I've been a father before.

DONNA
What?

DOCTOR
I lost all that a long time ago. Along with everything else.

DONNA
I'm sorry. I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me? You talk all the time, but you don't say anything.

DOCTOR
I know. I'm just... When I look at her now I can see them. The hole they left, all the pain that filled it. I just don't know if I can face that every day.

DONNA
It won't stay like that. She'll help you. We both will.

DOCTOR
But when they died, that part of me died with them. It'll never come back. Not now.

DONNA
I tell you something, Doctor, something I've never told you before. I think you're wrong.

They hear shooting and Jenny returns to them.

JENNY
They've blasted through the beams, time to run again. Love the running! Yeah?

DOCTOR
Love the running.

They smile at each other before they run again.

***
Martha struggles forward on the surface, still wiping tears. But now, she is nearly at the "Temple".

***
The Doctor, Donna and Jenny reach a dead end.

DONNA
We're trapped.

DOCTOR
Can't be. This must be the temple. (he touches a panel of the wall) This is a door.

DONNA
And again! We're down to 1-2 now...

DOCTOR
I've got it!

JENNY
I can hear them!

DOCTOR
Nearly done.

DONNA (still talking about the numbers)
These can't be a cataloguing system.

JENNY
They're getting closer!

DOCTOR
Then get back here!

DONNA
They're too similar. Too familiar.

JENNY
Not yet.

DOCTOR
Now! Got it!

The door opens.

***
Martha reaches a very similar door on the surface and enters.

***
The Doctor, Donna and Jenny get inside the "Temple".

JENNY
They're coming! Close the door!

The Doctor pushes some keys and the door slides closed.

JENNY
Oh, that was close!

DOCTOR
No fun otherwise!

DONNA
It's not what I'd call a temple...

JENNY
It looks more like...

DOCTOR
Fusion-drive transport. It's a spaceship!

DONNA
What, the original one? The one the first colonists arrived in?

DOCTOR
Well, it could be, but the power cells would have run down after all that time. This one's still powered-up and functioning. Come on!

As they run, they see that someone is cutting through another door.

JENNY
It's the Hath! That door's not gonna last much longer. And if General Cobb gets through down there, war's gonna break out.

DOCTOR
Look, look, look, look, look! Ship's log!

He gets to the controls.

DOCTOR
"First wave of Human/Hath co-colonisation of planet Messaline".

JENNY
So it is the original ship.

DONNA
What happened?

DOCTOR
"Phase one. Construction." They used robot drones to build the city.

DONNA
But, does it mention the war?

The Doctor scrolls down.

DOCTOR
Final entry... "Mission commander dead. Still no agreement on who should assume leadership. Hath and humans have divided into factions." That must be it! A power vacuum. The crew divided into two factions and turned on each other. Start using the progenation machines and suddenly you've got two armies fighting a never-ending war!

JENNY
Two armies who are now both outside.

DONNA
Look at that.

She looks at a screen displaying a set of numbers similar to those on the walls.

DOCTOR
It's like the numbers in the tunnels.

DONNA
No, no, no, no, but listen... I spent six months working as a temp in Hounslow Library, and I mastered the Dewey Decimal System in two days flat. I'm good with numbers! It's staring us in the face!

JENNY
What is?

DONNA
It's the date! Assuming the first two numbers are some big old space date, then you've got year, month, day. It's the other way round, like it is in America!

DOCTOR
Ohhh! It's the New Byzantine Calendar!

DONNA
The codes are completion dates for each section. They finish it, they stamp the date on! So the numbers aren't counting down, they're going out, from here, day by day, as the city got built.

DOCTOR
Yes! Oh, good work, Donna!

DONNA
Yeah! But you're, you're still not getting it. The first number I saw back there, was 6012-07-17. Well, look at the date today!

DOCTOR
07-24. No!

JENNY
What does it mean?

DOCTOR
Seven days.

DONNA
That's it! Seven days!

DOCTOR
Just seven days?!

JENNY
What d'you mean, seven days?

DOCTOR
Seven days since war broke out.

DONNA
This war started seven days ago! Just a week! A week!

JENNY
They said years!

DONNA
No. They said generations. And if they're all like you, and they're products of those machines...

DOCTOR
They could have 20 generations in a day! Each generation gets killed in the war, passes on the legend! Ohhh! Donna, you're a genius!

JENNY
But all the buildings, the encampments, they're in ruins.

DOCTOR
No they're not ruined, they're just empty! Waiting to be populated! Oh, they've mythologised their entire history! The Source must be part of that too. Come on!

They run again. They turn around a corner and bump into Martha.

MARTHA
Doctor!

DOCTOR
Martha!

They hug each other.

DOCTOR
I should've known you wouldn't stay away from the excitement!

MARTHA
Donna!

She runs to Donna and they hug too.

DONNA
Oooh, you're filthy, what happened?!

MARTHA
I, erm, took the surface route.

They hear the voice of soldiers.

DOCTOR
That's the general! We haven't got much time.

DONNA
We don't even know what we're looking for!

MARTHA
Is it me, or can you smell flowers?

DOCTOR
Yes! Bougainvillea! I say we follow our nose!

GENERAL COBB (voice from a distance)
Blocks 7 to 10, advance! With me!

The Doctor, Donna, Jenny and Martha reach a place that looks like a huge greenhouse inside the spaceship filled with palms and other exotic plants.

DOCTOR
Oh, yes! Yes! Isn't this brilliant?

In the middle there's a small place around a pedestal that holds a glass sphere, containing shining gas.

DONNA
Is that the Source?

JENNY
It's beautiful.

MARTHA
What is it?

DOCTOR
Terraforming! It's a third generation terraforming device!

DONNA
So why are we suddenly in Kew Gardens?

DOCTOR
Because that's what it does. All this, only bigger. Much bigger! It's in a transit state. Producing all this must help keep it stable before they finally...

The Hath and the human soldiers appear from the opposite sides, cocking their guns as soon as they catch sight of each other.

DOCTOR
Stop! Hold your fire!

GENERAL COBB
What is this? Some kind of trap?

DOCTOR
You said you wanted this war over.

GENERAL COBB
I want this war won.

DOCTOR
You can't win. No one can. You don't even know why you're here. Your whole history, it's just Chinese whispers. Getting more distorted the more it's passed on. (pointing to the sphere) This is the Source. This is what you're fighting over. A device to rejuvenate a planet's ecosystem. It's nothing mystical. It's from a laboratory, not some creator. It's a bubble of gases. A cocktail of stuff for accelerated evolution. Methane, hydrogen, ammonia, amino acids, proteins, nucleic acids. It's used to make barren planets habitable. Look around you! It's not for killing, it's bringing life. If you allow it, it can lift you out of these dark tunnels and into the bright, bright sunlight! No more fighting. No more killing.

He lifts up the sphere.

DOCTOR
I'm the Doctor, and I declare this war is over!

He throws it to the ground. The glass ball shatters and the gases escape, shining in gold and green as they spread out in the air. Amazed by the sight, human and Hath both put the guns to the ground.

JENNY
What's happening?

DOCTOR
The gases will escape and trigger the terraforming process.

JENNY
What does that mean?

DOCTOR
It means a new world.

Jenny laughs with delight, but then she looks at General Cobb - the only one who isn't enchanted by what's happened. He lifts his gun to shoot the Doctor, but Jenny steps in front of him.

JENNY
No!

The bullet hits her and Jenny collapses into the Doctor's arms, while the soldiers hold down Cobb and take away his gun.

DOCTOR
Jenny? Jenny! Talk to me, Jenny!

He sits down and takes Jenny into his lap. Martha checks her pulse and the wound.

DONNA
Is she gonna be all right?

Martha looks at Donna and shakes her head without a word.

JENNY (whispering)
A new world. It's beautiful.

DOCTOR
Jenny? Be strong, now. You need to hold on. D'you hear me? We've got things to do, you and me. Hey? Hey? We can go anywhere. Everywhere. You choose.

JENNY
That sounds good.

DOCTOR
You're my daughter and we've only just got started. You're gonna be great. You're gonna be more than great. You're gonna be amazing! You hear me? Jenny?

She closes her eyes and dies. The Doctor kisses her forehead in despair, then he finds one last straw to clutch.

DOCTOR
Two hearts. Two hearts, she's like me. If we wait... If we just wait...

He looks at Martha for support.

MARTHA
There's no sign, Doctor. There is no regeneration. She's like you, but... maybe not enough.

DOCTOR
No. Too much. That's the truth of it. She was too much like me.

He gently puts Jenny to the ground and kisses her one last time. Then he gets up, walks to General Cobb and picks up his gun. He stands there, panting from anger and despair, pointing the gun at Cobb's head. Martha and Donna are shocked to see what he's doing. But then he lowers the gun and crouches down to Cobb.

DOCTOR
I never would. Have you got that? I never would!

He stands up again and addresses both fighting parties.

DOCTOR
When you start this new world. This world of Human and Hath... remember that! Make the foundation of this society. A man who never would!

He throws away the gun and sits back to Jenny's body.

***
Jenny is laid out in the theatre room that used to be the human encampment. The Doctor, Donna, Martha, Cline and a Hath are around her. Suddenly, beams of light come through the windows.

MARTHA
It's happening. The terraforming.

DONNA
Build a city, nice and safe underground. Strip away the top soil. And there it is. (pause) And what about Jenny?

CLINE
Let us give her a proper ceremony. I think it'd help us. Please.

The Doctor, lost in dark thoughts, nods his approval.

***
The Doctor, Donna and Martha are back in the TARDIS.

DOCTOR
Jenny was the reason for the TARDIS bringing us here. It just got here too soon, which then created Jenny in the first place. Paradox. An endless paradox.

Donna and Martha watch him with sympathy.

DOCTOR
Time to go home?

MARTHA
Yeah. Home.

He starts to pull controls, but without his usual enthusiasm.

***
Donna and Martha walk down the road of Martha's house.

DONNA
You sure about this?

MARTHA
Yeah, positive. I can't do this any more. You'll be the same one day.

DONNA
Not me. Never! How could I ever go back to normal life after seeing all this?

She looks back to the Doctor who is a few step behind them.

DONNA
I'm gonna travel with that man for ever.

They hug each other.

MARTHA
Good luck.

DONNA
And you.

Donna stops while Martha and the Doctor walk a few steps ahead.

DOCTOR
We're making a habit of this.

MARTHA
Yeah. And you'd think it'd get easier. (she looks at the Doctor) All those things you've been ready to die for. I thought for a moment there you'd finally found something worth living for.

DOCTOR
Oh... there's always something worth living for, Martha.

They hug.

MARTHA
Bye, Doctor.

DOCTOR
Goodbye. Doctor Jones.

He turns back and walks to the TARDIS with Donna. For a second, Martha seems almost regretting her decision - then she looks at her engagement ring, smiles and rushes into the house.

***
Cline and the Hath are preparing Jenny for the ceremony. They put a pillow under her head and a sheet over her body. But suddenly her mouth opens and light comes out, resembling the terraforming substance. Cline and the Hath look at each other bemused. Then they get completely shocked when Jenny opens her eyes and smiles at them.

JENNY
Hello, boys.

***
Cline and the Hath are looking for Jenny.

CLINE
The shuttle!

He goes to a panel on the wall.

CLINE (over intercom)
Jenny? What're you doing? Come back!

Jenny is pushing controls to start the engines of the shuttle.

JENNY
Sorry. Can't stop. What you gonna do, tell my dad?

CLINE
But where are you going?!

JENNY
Oh, I've got the whole universe! Planets to save, civilizations to rescue, creatures to defeat... and an awful lot of running to do!

She shoots off to the sky with a huge smile on her face.